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Archive for September, 2014

passing moments in time

published on: 29.09.2014 in: All entries

It’s you. Twenty years ago you passed me by on a rusted bike. You turned to look, to whistle, to smile. A passing moment in time. I remember it because I wasn’t feeling too happy. And then I felt better. You were famous then, as you are now. You sit at a table in a […]


sometimes it’s essential

published on: 22.09.2014 in: All entries

I run around frantically looking for my keys. We are late already for an appointment in hospital. Hadn’t my son used the keys yesterday? Well goddammit where has he left them? I am turning bags upside down, throwing jackets around, cursing first to myself and then to him. He carefully opts “in your bag mama?” […]


stories of the streets

published on: 19.09.2014 in: All entries

I am stuck on a scene and exit the library. A stroll is a between-sitting-and-walking state of being, reflections are both conscious and subconscious. By chance, I am doing so in the oldest area of Amsterdam, which is the heart of my first act. My thoughts were disturbed by loud voices. A black postman and […]


the mothers we need

published on: 14.09.2014 in: All entries

I realize now that as a child I never really listened to what my mother had to say. The ungrateful fate of every mother. The most you can hope to accomplish as a mother is your child’s understanding that you are there, always. Which is more than any other person can give you. I can’t […]


who’s home I visited

published on: 13.09.2014 in: All entries

This early morning I was in someone’s home, in their bedroom. The king sized bed was empty, but the duvets crumpled. I put my hand on the mattress and it was still warm. The room was whiter than I’d expect it to be, more sterile somehow, with white-washed walls that felt cold. Except the wall […]


didn’t dare look

published on: 12.09.2014 in: All entries

I am always suspicious of events which parallel the clich├ęs in books. It has you wondering whether life follows the story or the other way around. A doctor who lives in my street came home with me one evening, there had been a festival in our neighbourhood. He was the tall and striking man, while […]


so do I

published on: 04.09.2014 in: All entries

Another sun filled day, when life turns inside out. A man came to my table. He carefully asked me for my phone number. Said he’d like to show me Amsterdam. I told him I’ve lived here for over twenty years. Still, he very much wanted to show me Amsterdam. I gave him my number. His […]


not because of the kiss

published on: 02.09.2014 in: All entries

A coffee with a fling of the past. Catching up on time. How is your health? Your job? Your post-divorce girlfriend? It’s okay, but… But? I’m not so sure about our relationship. He sums up a few reasons which are in the sphere of not being on the same page, or level. I ask what […]


swim back to shore

published on: 01.09.2014 in: All entries

Intense emotions have a habit of coming in waves. As a child, I was always in the sea. I knew exactly what current came where and when and how. I also knew that when a larger-than-life wave comes towards you, the best thing to do is dive straight into it and you’ll come out the […]