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Archive for 2014
published on: 29.12.2014 in: All entries
Christmas. They all crawl out of the dark, blinded by the light of candles. The beggars, the drug-addicts, the homeless. Please mam, could you spare me a dime? Blackened nails, yellowed fingers, grey teeth, empty eyes. The rozy-cheeked and starru-eyed all feel like helping and ask: What will you use the dime for? Eh… food…? […]
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published on: 23.12.2014 in: All entries
The portrait of my great-great grandmother above the fireplace. I was afraid of it. The TV stood against that same wall and so as you lay on the comfy pink couch under blankets, it was inevitable your eyes would wander to hers. Strict black bun, charcoaled gaze which followed you wherever you stood. My sister […]
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published on: 10.12.2014 in: All entries
Love sits like an angel on a cotton cloud resting in the skies, pausing for a moment, basking in the sun. Then the wind catches it and the cloud drifts away, slowly, with its passenger. Hold on to that angel and it will kick and scream, create a storm, blacken the skies as it falls. […]
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published on: 03.12.2014 in: All entries
To pull all the sails. It’s a Dutch saying. In my teens, I went to sailing school in Holland. I can’t think of anything more no-nonsense than Dutch sailing school, especially if you’re coming from Africa. I have a mental image of me pulling the sails. I can feel the ice-cold knife through my face, […]
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published on: 27.11.2014 in: All entries
December creeps into the year carrying mixed feelings. It’s a month of looking back and moulding thoughts into hopes for another year. Nothing’s changed, perhaps, regarding who you are, while life has. “This is going to be my fourth last Christmas!” a friend says, cheerily. She is sitting while I stand. Climbing the stairs costs […]
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published on: 24.11.2014 in: All entries
Tummy aches, headaches, fever. I put my son to bed and tell him I’m just going to leave the house for a moment to get some coffee. This isn’t unusual for him. As I walk down the street he calls after me from the balcony. “Mummy! It really really hurts now!” “Sweetheart just lie down […]
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published on: 22.11.2014 in: All entries
A lover describes the various relationships he’s had with women. He’s broken the hearts of a few, he says, and he so hates himself for it. It makes him feel terrible to know he’s hurt them. I’ve been hearing men tell me similar things these past few months. It has me wondering why we women […]
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published on: 15.11.2014 in: All entries
Addy is a prostitute, like so many female characters in 18th century novels are. Toothless, often. Not my Addy. She has fallen from grace. Once upon a time, not long ago, she wore indigo blue silk. Now she wears dark blue cotton. She has just had sex with a married man. He visits her often. […]
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published on: 07.11.2014 in: All entries
Time for a heart to heart with my father. We spoke many times, but perhaps I wasn’t listening. I ask him how things were when I was a baby. Between him and my mother and him and I and my mother and I. I need to know, I say, because I’m going through this phase, […]
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published on: 02.11.2014 in: All entries
To miss is a tree of summer leaves. Bright green and full, impossible to see through. Casting shadow over day and cooling the heat of excitement. After a while, the leaves burst into an orange fire. Finally they come to a simmer, dry up and fade. Every leaf lets go whenever it is ready to […]
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