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Archive for April, 2010

They weren’t looking

published on: 26.04.2010 in: All entries

A young woman wonders about who she is. She has been adopted. She asks a tv-programme to help her find her mother. And they do: mother lives in a psychiatric institution in Colombia. She is a paranoid schizofrenic and has been locked up there for thirty years. Nobody visits her. The young woman does. She […]


Ode to a countertenor

published on: 25.04.2010 in: All entries

They practice until their fingers bleed. And you? You sing and sing until nothing holds you back anymore. Neither mind nor body.I stand here, you say. Please listen. Where do you leave your hands if they’re not holding words? Next to your body. You don’t need them. Nor the violins behind you. I told you […]


Little girl

published on: 15.04.2010 in: All entries

Little girl. Aren’t you gorgeous? How old are you? Seven? You flash your baby-blue eyes at me. You’re shy, but you want to be cool. So you sip your coca-cola. It has a slice of lemon in it. Very grown-up like. You pout your lips, and stare over your glass. You have already mastered a […]


Look and see

published on: 14.04.2010 in: All entries

An email from my sister this morning – “was it magical? what did you talk about?” She was referring to my birthday dinner yesterday evening, with my significant other.It took me a while to figure out the answer to both questions. And still, I’m not entirely sure what we talked about. I suppose it’s related […]



published on: 11.04.2010 in: All entries

So there it is. Almost three years of writing (more realistically: one year of writing and two years of rewriting) behind me. And it’s time to let go. As I hit ‘send’ and the file reaches my publisher, I feel relieved for a split-second. Yet also sad.That’s it, it’s out of my hands. It’s up […]


Judgement is a trickster

published on: 09.04.2010 in: All entries

My parents are in Spain. The Camino de Santiago. Dad is cleaning toilets in a monastery’s hostel, while mum walks to Santiago. I have no idea where they are exactly. Or how they are.I’ve been thinking about this.I saw my sisters the other day. It was my nephew’s birthday and so we were busy doing […]



published on: 02.04.2010 in: All entries

He runs and runs. His running has that little bounce to it, which is so typical of him. As if short springs have been tied under his wellington boots. His hair bounces too and sometimes he’ll look back at me while running and laughing. Running and laughing, running and laughing.“Careful!” I’d like to shout as […]


Erbarme dich

in: All entries

Download 39 Matthäus-Passion_ Erbarme dich mein Gott