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swim back to shore

published: 2014-09-01

Intense emotions have a habit of coming in waves.
As a child, I was always in the sea. I knew exactly what current came where and when and how. I also knew that when a larger-than-life wave comes towards you, the best thing to do is dive straight into it and you’ll come out the other end, untouched. There is a danger though. The currents may pull you further out and you might not be able to swim back to shore.
Sometimes, a wave can catch you by surprise. It breaks on your head and you’re thrown right into the violence of it. You’d better not fight it then because if you do, you’ll break something. It’s best to let go and hope for the best. You’ll come out with your bikini bottom on your knees and bikini top on your head. Sand all over your hair, in your eyes, ears and mouth. Gasping for air and hurting all over. But you’ll survive.
A friend of mine said: “well darling, you just have to ride that wave.”
I can see myself soaring – triumphantly – on the larger-than-life wave. Mastering it, even using it and feeling strong. But surfing takes practice. A whole lot of it. With many crashes in between. I’ll stick with diving through them and accept the risk of drifting away.

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