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Archive for October, 2009

It happens

published on: 31.10.2009 in: All entries

It happens. A woman falls out of her window. She lives around the corner, on the top floor. When the sun shines, she sits in her open window. She props a pillow up against the iron bar and reads. She must read a lot, I catch myself considering, as it is a good summer. One […]


Life after 40

published on: 23.10.2009 in: All entries

My sister’s 40th birthday. It has me sneaking through her house when she’s not there. Hanging up balloons. Going through her basket of photos. I know where to look, she’s had that basket since we were really young. She got it when we lived in the Philippines. And it has always been where she keeps […]


After the man, comes the woman

published on: 20.10.2009 in: All entries

She is about that same middle age, still far enough removed from menopauze. She has hot flashes though, fits of rage. She doesn’t particularly like herself anymore. She wonders, even, whether she ever did. But she only has now. And now is the day she wakes up thinking she may well be happy. She knows […]



published on: 19.10.2009 in: All entries

October, you with your manic moods and misty moments. You steal my breath and use it to blow kites against skies where frantic flocks of swallows wonder which way you are telling them to go. Left, you say but then shout right and smile at the confusion. You, October, mess with my hair, like you […]



published on: 17.10.2009 in: All entries

A man in his early fourties, in front of his desk-top computer. He has set up an office in his home, which is far away from everything. When he looks out the window, he sees green instead of grey. A rabbit’s tail. His dogs. The red sprinkles of wild strawberries. His heart pounds. He wonders […]



published on: 14.10.2009 in: All entries

I’ve been wondering about this nasty little word called manipulation. Somehow, it is always seen as a negative and indicative of some dangerous psychological disorder such as borderline syndrome. Anorexics, as we all know, manipulate. As do drug addicts and so on. To be told that one is manipulative is therefore an insult. Moreover, it’s […]



published on: 12.10.2009 in: All entries

This weekend, we celebrated my man’s 39th b-day. As it was the first b-day he decided to celebrate, I felt it deserved some attention which therefore resulted in a frantic weekend. I had put my mind to buying him a Mexican plant. Of course this plant (+ pot) turned out to be over 100 kilos […]



published on: 08.10.2009 in: All entries

Flamenco class. New location, new floor to dance on, new bright lights. No mirrors. So we couldn’t see what we were doing. Having to judge yourself when you can study yourself is hard enough as it is. Often, you’ll end up comparing your movements to those of the others. But judgiing yourself simply by having […]


Complexity/simplicity of life

published on: 07.10.2009 in: All entries

It’s raining today. It had me thinking, “funny how life works.” 10 years ago I was a board member of the SD-foundation. We were a pretty fanatic team. We sent information flyers out to every ENT doctor we knew, built a website, found (a bit of) funding and wrote letters to magazines, tv programmes etc. […]



published on: 05.10.2009 in: All entries

To learn through social media that her biological father died. Her, meaning my best-friend from high school. The word “biological” says it all. The best wishes on twitter, that his soul should rest in peace. A tormented soul he indeed was. Not many people met her biological father. Not many people know. That sometimes it […]