Flamenco class. New location, new floor to dance on, new bright lights.
So we couldn’t see what we were doing. Having to judge yourself when you can study yourself is hard enough as it is. Often, you’ll end up comparing your movements to those of the others. But judgiing yourself simply by having to feel what you’re doing is near impossible. The first few minutes of the lesson, I felt my insecurity levels increase by the second. Was my pelvis really straight or did it only feel straight? Why did my side hurt when I was supposed to be leaning back slightly? Clearly, instead of feeling, I was thinking. So I closed my eyes, listened to the music and told myself to let go. I started experiencing the rhythm and music in an entirely different way. It was no longer a restrictive regime I was to adhere to. It became a guide, a partner I was dancing with. One I could trust. I still have no idea whether I was doing it right, or looking any good. But without those mirrors, it no longer mattered.