I took a long walk on the beach today, stuck close to the dunes as I’m not quite the courageous being I’d like myself to be -> warning signs of quicksand and a sea that can suddenly come up and drown you were enough to have me looking for exits every five minutes. Albeit quicksand must be one of the more spectacular deaths one could possibly imagine.
I was alone, that too. All alone on an endless stretch of sand and sea.
I once read that if you fear you might be going crazy, you should go ahead and act the way you think crazies act. So I started screaming out loud -“this isn’t supposed to be about me, this is supposed to be within the realm of my story.” And then I went bliaahaabooboo and hollered wraaaaaah towards the sea after which I had an out loud discussion with myself about punishing my main character and whether I was allowed to have fun doing it.
I felt really stupid.
Even more so upon discovering a birdwatcher was hidden behind the dunes and had been watching me.