the void of gratitudepublished: 2013-04-15
I asked some people over. All evening, I felt something was missing. This void floated on a yearning and kept me up all night. Eating, drinking, smoking, talking, dancing, laughing. Eating more, drinking more, until birds started singing and it was time to sleep.
These same people have often advised me to think less than I do. Meditate, do sports, read books. Or: eat, drink and smoke. But the delay of thought means there’s a risk of the insight coming too late. Apart from the obvious reason for the longing – my son wasn’t there and I am part of a family I no longer have – there was something else. I had wanted to thank the people there. I had wanted to tell each and every one of them how they had helped me through a tough year. I forgot to tell them. Today, one of those people feels bad. I can now step into the void and fill it with action instead of intent.