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the 25,000 euros reward

published: 2013-07-25

I am a man in my fifties. Doing all right – one should always give some and take some in life. I look good, if I may say so myself. The benefits of discipline, which I have in me, it’s a family trait. Head strong and powerful.
Maybe my career isn’t where it’s supposed to be, but that isn’t my fault. Publishers have ignored my talent. I’ll tell you what I think: they are jealous. I am a both sexy and brilliant man. That’s hard to deal with when one is not. Publishers are like civil servants. It’s quite thoughtless of them though. They could make a lot of money off me. ‘ll show them. I really will.
I’ll be writing my best seller soon. Now that the Wiesenthal Center has offered a 25,000 euro reward for tips leading to nazis.
My uncle, see. People have said I look like him. He was tall. He has large hands, like mine. Women love large hands. They especially love it when large veins crawl under the skin of your hands. It’s a signature of physical strength and control. And this only increases with age, as do the veins thicken. My best days are yet to come.
As a kid, my uncle would give me 50 dollars on my birthdays to buy anything I wanted. After puberty the sum doubled. After my twenties the sum tripled. It stopped at the age of thirty.
It was a good thing it stopped, I suppose. As during my thirties people increasingly asked of my family history. Especially lovers. Why do women, as they grow older, become so obsessed with the past? It’s why I prefer young women. They won’t fall into the trap of drawing conclusions in light of what’s been.
So in essence, it’s all my uncle’s fault. That I am doomed to co-exist with younger women. And if you were to ask me, honestly, I’m sure it’s a conspiracy that my novels haven’t been published.
I’ll write the Wiesenthal Center and tell them that uncle Tjardo Dijksma in actual fact has a different name. How weak is a man who is not proud of his name? At least I carry mine – Nachgeboren – with pride.
They’ll transfer 25,000.- euros into my account. If I budget a little, it should last me a year. I’m thinking: maybe I shouldn’t write about a struggling artist after all. Maybe I should write about my uncle. It’s what they all want, after all.

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