that’s so fucking true, isn’t it?
published: 2012-01-06A friend calls another friend. The one friend had been wondering who to call.
So many friends, yet noone to bloody well call.
This thought made him more depressed than he already was. Was he desperate enough to bother his parents? For godssake, he thought. That would mean admitting failure. Yes mum and dad, I am past fourty mum and dad, and still I feel like crying like the baby I’ve always been. All right?
Wine, more wine.
Music, more music.
Silence. No not silence! He doesn’t believe a word all those happy people say. That he should practice being silent.
“Are you by any chance in a bar right now?” he texts his friend.
“Almost, I’m meeting up with the team,” the friend texts back.
Oh no, not the team. It’s his friend’s team and not his. Even though he can drink way more than them. Way more.
Suddenly, the friend who is going out with his team calls. He hardly ever calls. “Where are you?” he asks.
Where the bloody well do you think I am? “Home.”
“I’m outside.”
Well good for you.
“I’ve been kicked out.”
“What?? No way, really?” You didn’t tell her did you?
“I told her. I told her about Julia.”
“Fuck.” I told you not to, didn’t I? You don’t want to be like me, do you?
“But listen, what was that you were saying?”
I was saying I feel like crap. “You’re going out drinking are you?”
“Yes. You can come if you like.”
“No, no, I need to get loads of work done.”
“It’ll pass,” the team-drinking-friend says, “you need this. This is who you are.”
What? feeling like crap is who I am?
“The things around us change faster than we do,” he says, “eventually we do too. Eventually.”
That’s true. That’s so fucking true isn’t it. “I suppose.”
“So are you coming out then?”
“Nah. You go out, have fun. If you need a bed, you know where to find me.”
“Thanks mate.”
“Yeah, thanks mate.”