stupid songpublished: 2013-09-20
My playlist coughs up an old song to me. It took me straight back to that moment I stood in front of him, studying his reaction. I hadn’t known what to say to him as he walked in. We had argued so many times, exchanged so many words that we no longer knew which were his and which were mine.
So I put on this song. I was trying to tell him something. I turned the volume up and stood there, full of expectation. He was distracted by his shoelaces, by his cellphone, by pouring himself a tap of water. And so I thought I’d say, “there’s a reason I put this song on.”
He looked at me briefly, and his one tiny yet disdainful smile told me that our relationship had always been a figment of my imagination.
Now, I listen to that song and think: what a stupid song.