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published: 2010-08-04

The law text books. They are in a box beneath the stairs. They have been there for the past 7 years. There were a lot more before. I had thrown 4/5th of my Law books away last time I moved, including all my notes. What remains are the books I thought were worth keeping back then. Books like: An Introduction to International Law. Law & Ethics. Labor Law. Contracts Law. And two particularly impressive volumes of Criminal Law. Hard-covered and a deep red.
I decide it's time to throw them away. And as they pass my hands I wonder: did I really once know what legal system the Romans used? Who was that person who knew how to argue why it's so important a rapist who has pleaded guilty should be set free if the police make an interrogation mistake? Why have I kept those books all these years? Was I really expecting to one day sit down and look up how long one can be held in detention?
Even the handwriting of the notes scribbled in the margins was different.
I throw the books into a garbage bag. All but the one: the one on Labor Law. I can't let go of it. Maybe because I started a PhD in Labor Law. I never completed my dissertation. I had written 2/3rd. It was the first time I allowed myself to fail in something. 
I discover two other, smaller, books hidden between the stately Law books. One says: The Reality of Depression. And the other is about grief. I keep those too. As a reminder.

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