The best and worst part of performing are the nerves. Apparently I’m finding something important enough to get nervous about. As we get older in life, we gain experience and events such as birthdays or exams won’t be keeping us awake the way they did when we were young.We’ve been there, done all that and hey: life has hit us with worse things than an exam. In some way that’s a pity. Being nervous brings us into a state of heightened awareness. It’s exhausting because we’re intensely experiencing the event we’re so nervous about. To me, it’s a welcome peak in a life lived the way life is usually lived: days come and go. Shit happens.
But nerves also have a natural talent of exaggerating things. And if we get too nervous, chances are we’re not enjoying ourselves. At all. Why? Because no longer are we suffering from nerves, what we’re actually suffering from is fear. Stage fright. That’s not about awareness, that’s about survival. The senses then shut down and we even risk blacking out. If you catch yourself wondering “why on earth am I putting myself through this?” right before a performance, then that’s a clear warning sign.
During our performance I saw nerves popping around the stage in all its blacked out colours and spirited capacities.