invisible to the worldpublished: 2012-11-13
My Dutch publisher said she’s considering publishing a few of my blog entries. I suggested an intern could make a first selection? You know, me being so busy and all that?
What a silly thought.
I have started the selection process, and it’s taking me ages. Every blog entry I read brings back the things left unsaid. The frustrations, the wedding-proposal, the destructive affaire. The smells, the light, the seasons; they do not reflect the desire for time to stand still so it can no longer bring any hurt. When had all the falsities started? Even before the blog? During pregnancy? Was it when my best-friend punched me in the stomach?
How many friends have I lost? How many relationships have I destroyed? How many songs have I listened to, over and over and over again? How many seasons have passed?
Sure, we can publish my blog entries. But what exactly will I be making visible to the world?