Like parenting, illness, or losing a job, divorce is one of those things in life you only fully understand once you experience it. Someone once said, “the argument that so many people get divorced, and so many people get cancer, doesn’t make the experience any less grave once you go through it yourself.”
Divorce is not a neat and compact decision that is made one fine morning, then framed and posted to a wall. It is a process. You turn left a little, then decide to backtrack, move forward or turn circles for a while, before you take a sharp corner to the right. No one will show you the way. No one will tell you where you are heading. But many people will voice their opinions.
The beauty of life-changing events are the insights they bring you. In friendships, in society, in moral, in yourself. You learn that friends are not referring to you when they advise against change, they are -in fact- addressing themselves. And so you sit there, essentially listening to what they have to say about themselves.
There are also people you hardly know but who will ring your doorbell and hold you. They pass through your life and will leave about as fast as they came. You do not need to give them anything in return. All you have to do is learn to accept their kindness.
To accept is the greatest challenge of divorce.