Basic psychologypublished: 2010-06-24
Remember when you were madly in love with someone? And then you thought “all right, if I just tell him then I’ll have it off my chest and it will disappear.” But it wasn’t true. It only got worse. Here’s the rule: putting feelings out in the open do not diminish them. They flare up on getting all this new oxygen.
My neighbour was just a neighbour until now. I’d chat with her on equal terms. She recently mentioned how she set up shop as a psychologist. Good for her. Today, I asked what type os psychology she practiced. “Cognitive,” she said. After which I made the mistake of saying, “oh really? Someone recently recommended I should do that.”
Her eyes widened and she planted them firmly on my face, when before they would wander to a passing dog or car. Her expression softened, and there was a slight raising of the eyebrows that was meant to say “I am open and safe.” Within seconds I had transformed from ‘neighbour that has published her second novel – wow!’ to ‘neighbour that needs help’. I could literally see it happening. I am now officially a case, and nothing I say or do will ever change that. There’s only one solution: avoid her. If possible move house. The same solution after telling someone you are madly, insanely, infatuated with them.