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Archive for 2009

Meaning what?

published on: 04.12.2009 in: All entries

I came across a photo of the man who has died: he and a friend of mine are intently bent over her laptop, discussing dreams and plans for the future. It was taken during the launch of my first novel. She had flown in from the Caribbean, was all energy and powerful charisma. He had […]


Mister Ambassador

published on: 03.12.2009 in: All entries

I have made a fresh tomato soup and a salad with crushed walnuts. I have done my utmost to present it well but truth be said: salad looks bland in a standard white bowl. And my sup bowls are chipped. My main character comes late. The salad has gone soggy. He enters in a flurry […]


Bow down

published on: 29.11.2009 in: All entries

Two women from The Philippines tumble into a chique hotel. They are a storm of attention deficit perfume, glittered mini-dresses, strass earrings, synthetic hair pieces and stiletto heels. They chatter loudly, take photos of each other in various poses and seats. Their nailpolish is a deep burgundy, almost black. As is their lipstick. The waitress […]


A thought on grief

published on: 24.11.2009 in: All entries

At funerals, it’s the songs they play that bring out the tears. You listen to how friends of the deceased describe memorable moments. They choke up and you feel awful, but somehow words have this way of creating distance. Personal memories are not necessarily shared memories. Then come the songs. And with them the universal […]


Mexican flu

published on: 20.11.2009 in: All entries

Raisins, cookies, and a (small) toy car of his own choice. These are the things I promised my son after cheerily announcing this morning” “guess what? today you are going to get a Mexicam flu shot – Hurray!!” He cried in despair, “oh nooo not the doctoooooor. Not a shot, mamaaaaa.” At midday I reminded […]


It isn’t supposed to

published on: 17.11.2009 in: All entries

“This has never happened to me before,” said my friend and her voice trembled. Her voice never trembles. Ever. She handed the phone to her husband who cried and screamed. I felt like crying and screaming for them. But what good would that do? He lost his brother today. He wrote to us, describing what […]



published on: 16.11.2009 in: All entries

I feel for you woman. You with your paisely scarf. Your signet ring. The wedding band, on your other hand. Skinny fingers, half hidden in sleeves pulled over them. Of a striped cardigan, grey and blues. Hues of tears.I feel for you woman. You with your perfect hair, lean back in your chair. Your numbed […]


Tall boy, small boy

published on: 15.11.2009 in: All entries

Woman, man. Two sons: one tall, one small. The boys kick a ball around on the beach. The ball hits mother’s leg. The tall one cringes: oops. To his surprise, mother turns around to join in. She kicks it back. He to her, him to her. His enthousiasm grows. The small one is left out. […]


That’s what friends are for

published on: 13.11.2009 in: All entries

That’s what friends are for, sings the loudspeaker to me. I have escaped the blasting, wintery wind outside. I had intended to take a long walk on the beach. But the wind easily convinced me otherwise. A coffee instead. I am the only person in that restaurant and indulge in the luxury: I chose to […]


Give or take?

published on: 12.11.2009 in: All entries

A woman emails me. “hey you i hear you have SD so do i and some other vague dystonias and you know what though when i speak it’s such a joke.” I email her back, thanking he for her email, telling her a little about myself and asking a few questions. She seems happy at […]