« back to overview


Archive for 2017

about compassion

published on: 30.12.2017 in: All entries

Every year, I organise a ladies & friends Christmas drinks. I inject a word into the evening. Once, it was the word ‘connection’. And ‘faith’ too. This year I said: ‘compassion’. While preparing for the party, I like to sit down and write something about the word. Usually things come up effortlessly. This year my […]


my son, a punch and a kick

published on: 10.10.2017 in: All entries

My son asked for a ritual together. That was the word he chose: “ritual”. Something especially for us. I opted that we could set a fixed day in the week to see a film. We could try roller blading maybe? Swimming, or chess lessons? Music? “Kick boxing,” he said. And so it is, that he […]


falling of leaves

published on: 22.09.2017 in: All entries

The sun slashes its way past oak trees, forms sharp rectangles on the grass in the park. The smaller trees are shaken and drop their more fragile leaves, they trickle down to the ground and will soon decay to mush, disappear. I wonder whether I am ready for winter. Am I prepared for the sting […]


strappy sandals and a cloud of Ghanaian dust

published on: 03.09.2017 in: All entries

Another girl, this one is 11. It is her first day at a new school in a new country called Ghana. The container ship with all her things – books, games (books and toys she has rapidly grown out of as the move from London to Accra catapulted her into her teens), posters, that one […]


Last day

published on: 31.08.2017 in: All entries

A three-year-old girl learns to swim in the pool. She is careful and her father patiently guides her. When she spots me, I praise her for her courage and she flips over onto her back and jolts into a swim. I watch her as her belly protrudes under her ribs – at that age the […]


cut this day out

published on: 28.08.2017 in: All entries

My sister said, “there is always one day you’d like to cut out of a holiday.” I am on the beach wondering about what day I’d pick. Today is a hot day with no wind. The stone-like pebbles push into my bum and legs and feel like bruises. A message rattles my phone: “Is there […]


a pink shark’s fin

published on: 23.08.2017 in: All entries

The tip of the sailing boat’s mast follows the horizon like a finger following a road on a map. A very straight road from East to West. There are swallows, two of them. They are black against the pastel coloured sky and they remind me of ink-blots. There was a little girl on the beach […]


small strokes

published on: 21.08.2017 in: All entries

I had watched him swim with a large branch and then drag it along the beach. Shoulders slumped, one hip raised, the opposite arm seemed longer than the arm alongside his hip. His body was pale and with red blotches where his sunscreen hadn’t protected his skin. Was he going to lay down somewhere with […]



published on: 15.06.2017 in: All entries

I’ve been wondering about borderline personality disorder. Daily even, for the past three years, ever since I was told I have it. And yet if someone asks me: what is it? My best answer would be: I can’t really explain. It’s like childbirth, you only really know what it’s like once you’ve experienced it yourself. […]


a million years of sun

published on: 15.03.2017 in: All entries

The pinch of stress on realising I had forgotten to drop my son’s soccer bag off at his dad’s house. There’s so much we do well, but so hard to get it all right. There are phone calls I have to return, things to read, follow-up to give and much more of all that, ten […]