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Sorry you feel that way

published: 2020-05-13

Recently, someone said to me, “I’m sorry you’re hurt.”

It had me feeling unarmed. Something wasn’t right.

My immediate instinct was to say “that’s okay.” I didn’t. Instead I said, “but you’re not sorry, are you? Not really.” And I left it at that.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” is becoming a new social convention. I believe it’s collateral damage to the self-focused meditational pursuit of zen-like detachment.

Say sorry only when you feel regret, and are sorry enough to at least try to correct the damage done. And to change your behaviour from that point on. Otherwise: don’t. Sorry the other person feels a certain way? It’s a falsity.


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