Aliefka

my sister came by today

published: 2011-03-13

I remember interviewing for a job while in fact I was sick. This job meant the world to me: it meant providing a framework to my sanity.
After leaving the interview, I was surprised to see my sister sitting outside. She had a job herself and had apparently taken the day off. Seeing her there felt like the sun had decided to shine when the world was expecting rain. I say this in retrospect. At the time, I thought I didn’t need all that, or to be more precise: anyone. After I said she really didn’t have to go through all that trouble, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “certain things in life you can only do once.”
I have since repeated this sentence only once. Another friend of mine had fled Iran and hadn’t returned in almost 20 years. His father passed away. I said the very words she had said to me. He went, despite all the dangers.
My sister came by today. I told her it wasn’t a good time, for reasons that are too complicated to explain. On watching her leave I kept thinking of that one sentence. I called after her, then looked for her in the park. I keep thinking, “certain things in life you can ruin forever.”