published on: 05.04.2018 in: All entries

“Shall I come sit with you?” I ask my son, who has been 12-yeras-old for 10 hours. He was born at 10.24 in the morning. I couldn’t hold him that morning, my vision was blotched, my hands were shaking, it felt like a knife was cutting through my head, and I had lost 2 litres […]


greatest fear

published on: 14.02.2018 in: All entries

“My mother is sick,” says the 11-year-old boy on the phone, and he hesitates briefly. He says, “sick in the head and in hospital.” I was supposed to meet with her. She had tickets for the opera. I couldn’t reach her. My own son had her son’s number. He confirmed what I already knew. The […]


here now, gone tomorrow

published on: 30.01.2018 in: All entries

Six years old. My father had a surprise for me. We were away for the weekend, there was a rented house, a beach. He told me to come with him and close my eyes. When I opened them I was staring at our car. As I peered into the window, I discovered my best friend. […]


little things

published on: 28.01.2018 in: All entries

On my way to a meeting, I drop by school with his lunch box. I had forgotten to put it into his school bag. He hasn’t yet noticed I had forgotten because I am on time – only just. I can slip it into his school bag and he’ll never know. There are so many […]


so thank you

published on: 22.01.2018 in: All entries

I wander the corridors. There was a presentation, there are drinks. I see faces, people I know, people I’ve worked with, engaged with. They flash forced smiles that say: please don’t talk to me right now, please don’t expect me to be friendly, please know that I am not planning to include you in this […]



published on: 12.01.2018 in: All entries

“It sounds like people are chasing each other,” says my son as we eat and I ask him what he thinks of the music: Mahler’s 1st Symphony. Not that we’re always listening to classical music in our home. The contrary. But I am going to a concert that evening, to hear it. I say, “I […]


about compassion

published on: 30.12.2017 in: All entries

Every year, I organise a ladies & friends Christmas drinks. I inject a word into the evening. Once, it was the word ‘connection’. And ‘faith’ too. This year I said: ‘compassion’. While preparing for the party, I like to sit down and write something about the word. Usually things come up effortlessly. This year my […]


my son, a punch and a kick

published on: 10.10.2017 in: All entries

My son asked for a ritual together. That was the word he chose: “ritual”. Something especially for us. I opted that we could set a fixed day in the week to see a film. We could try roller blading maybe? Swimming, or chess lessons? Music? “Kick boxing,” he said. And so it is, that he […]


falling of leaves

published on: 22.09.2017 in: All entries

The sun slashes its way past oak trees, forms sharp rectangles on the grass in the park. The smaller trees are shaken and drop their more fragile leaves, they trickle down to the ground and will soon decay to mush, disappear. I wonder whether I am ready for winter. Am I prepared for the sting […]


strappy sandals and a cloud of Ghanaian dust

published on: 03.09.2017 in: All entries

Another girl, this one is 11. It is her first day at a new school in a new country called Ghana. The container ship with all her things – books, games (books and toys she has rapidly grown out of as the move from London to Accra catapulted her into her teens), posters, that one […]