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define the bold words

published on: 01.11.2018 in: All entries

My son is downstairs in his room and he throws something. I hear him do it. And he grunts angrily. He’s seen it in films. All of it acted and dramatised. But the anxiety isn’t fake, the fear of not knowing how to do this thing we call: Studying for a test. History; he’s only […]

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first day

published on: 06.09.2018 in: All entries

In the morning, he says “look mum. Mum, mum, look!” He is in a stars and striped onesie, thin wrists and pale ankles sticking out, he has grown too fast. “I am a ball,” he says. He has thought this through and has piled pillows up on the floor the to his bed. On his […]

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Moving in

published on: 22.08.2018 in: All entries

He is 12 now and in a leap, momentarily frozen in Summer. The heel of his back foot has not left the ground yet, while the big toe on his front foot is eager to land into adolescence. “I hate you,” he says when I move him in his sleep. He is in the back […]

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not to see

published on: 18.06.2018 in: All entries

I know that you saw, how I pretended not to see you. A split-second pasted against the passing of time, now a memory that is forever. Forever changed, you and I. You know that I saw, how you pretended not to see me.

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from light to dark

published on: 22.05.2018 in: All entries

There was a girl. She lived an outsider in the land of the living. She wore purple. And she had long hair tied up in two pony tails which shot out from right above her ears. She liked wearing matching white socks. She also liked sharpening her colouring pencils into tips that each had the […]

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driver’s seat

published on: 05.05.2018 in: All entries

In the car. My 4G or 3G or whatever is necessary to connect, to a map. To find the way. It was gone, had disappeared. For a moment I was lost. I told myself it would be ok. Surely I knew the way? At least parts of it? I had done it before, many times […]

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together

published on: 05.04.2018 in: All entries

“Shall I come sit with you?” I ask my son, who has been 12-yeras-old for 10 hours. He was born at 10.24 in the morning. I couldn’t hold him that morning, my vision was blotched, my hands were shaking, it felt like a knife was cutting through my head, and I had lost 2 litres […]

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greatest fear

published on: 14.02.2018 in: All entries

“My mother is sick,” says the 11-year-old boy on the phone, and he hesitates briefly. He says, “sick in the head and in hospital.” I was supposed to meet with her. She had tickets for the opera. I couldn’t reach her. My own son had her son’s number. He confirmed what I already knew. The […]

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here now, gone tomorrow

published on: 30.01.2018 in: All entries

Six years old. My father had a surprise for me. We were away for the weekend, there was a rented house, a beach. He told me to come with him and close my eyes. When I opened them I was staring at our car. As I peered into the window, I discovered my best friend. […]

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little things

published on: 28.01.2018 in: All entries

On my way to a meeting, I drop by school with his lunch box. I had forgotten to put it into his school bag. He hasn’t yet noticed I had forgotten because I am on time – only just. I can slip it into his school bag and he’ll never know. There are so many […]

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