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Archive for 2014

my city, your city

published on: 30.10.2014 in: All entries

Dutch people. We always bike through red in Amsterdam. A man in front of me, hunched over his steering wheel, does the same. He is wearing a wool hat when it’s over ten degrees. A long jacket. Old shoes. A fast little Smart car almost hits him. The man in the Smart car stops, bars […]

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little lonely dog

published on: 28.10.2014 in: All entries

There is a little sausage-shaped dog in my neighborhood. He always walks in front of his owner, pulling at his leash. Leading the way, confident and proud, unaware of how small he is. His owner follows him while smiling endeared. They are always together, that woman and the sausage-shaped dog. His name is Bob. I […]

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it’s like the sea

published on: 26.10.2014 in: All entries

My mother frequently sends me a text message saying: is all well? A rhetorical question that you can only answer with a ‘yes’. I chat with her on the phone sometimes. This is new, we never used to. I tell her unimportant details of my life, how I went out and with whom. That I’m […]

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hostile worlds

published on: 10.10.2014 in: All entries

As I set myself op To Write this evening and wish I could allow myself simply to write, I consider this thing called fear. A few years ago, I handed the first copy of my first novel to a befriended musician. He is a talented and modest man. After performing for us, he took the […]

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passing moments in time

published on: 29.09.2014 in: All entries

It’s you. Twenty years ago you passed me by on a rusted bike. You turned to look, to whistle, to smile. A passing moment in time. I remember it because I wasn’t feeling too happy. And then I felt better. You were famous then, as you are now. You sit at a table in a […]

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sometimes it’s essential

published on: 22.09.2014 in: All entries

I run around frantically looking for my keys. We are late already for an appointment in hospital. Hadn’t my son used the keys yesterday? Well goddammit where has he left them? I am turning bags upside down, throwing jackets around, cursing first to myself and then to him. He carefully opts “in your bag mama?” […]

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stories of the streets

published on: 19.09.2014 in: All entries

I am stuck on a scene and exit the library. A stroll is a between-sitting-and-walking state of being, reflections are both conscious and subconscious. By chance, I am doing so in the oldest area of Amsterdam, which is the heart of my first act. My thoughts were disturbed by loud voices. A black postman and […]

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the mothers we need

published on: 14.09.2014 in: All entries

I realize now that as a child I never really listened to what my mother had to say. The ungrateful fate of every mother. The most you can hope to accomplish as a mother is your child’s understanding that you are there, always. Which is more than any other person can give you. I can’t […]

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who’s home I visited

published on: 13.09.2014 in: All entries

This early morning I was in someone’s home, in their bedroom. The king sized bed was empty, but the duvets crumpled. I put my hand on the mattress and it was still warm. The room was whiter than I’d expect it to be, more sterile somehow, with white-washed walls that felt cold. Except the wall […]

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didn’t dare look

published on: 12.09.2014 in: All entries

I am always suspicious of events which parallel the clichés in books. It has you wondering whether life follows the story or the other way around. A doctor who lives in my street came home with me one evening, there had been a festival in our neighbourhood. He was the tall and striking man, while […]

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